ME. kynzgerl
CODES. manikka
BRUSHES. 1 2
IMAGES. 1 2
The 2 paper heart: moargh.de
SOURCE. BLOGGER BLOGSKINS IMAGESHACK

ZOOOOM.
ZOOM OUT. lol.
Another wip.
Sorry for post, myshit art here lol.
& complaining about how shit it is right nao.
It probably because i'm working with the WRONG end of the tablet pen that is making me so frustrated.I duuno. i feel so wrong...
Lol, well anyway. He's supposed to be playing game.
D< this is a gift for shadowedxflame.
BUUUUT IT FAAAAAILS.
OTL.
OH, because i'm stupid.
Here is video for the last lineart's coloring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNGsg380EwQ

I'm forced into using Sai paint tool, for my lineart.
;[
Because, a broken pen will never work for photoshop, or open canvas.
lmao. I just feel silly because, i'm scared to color it. .
I'm horrible when it comes to coloring, and i don't want to ruin it any worse than it already is.
.
.
.
GAH.
OTL.
fail.

So, today was the very last day of school for me.

"cuantas cosas que contar...una suerte tenerlas . ^^ ♥"
Yeah.
I ranted a bit in my last post.
I was really, really depressed, angry and thinking of all the bad things.
Which is always bad within itself.

So. Thanks to Kada Shimei, he gave me some hope.
He told me to think of the good things.
And wished my good luck.
<3
I thought those were the kindest words i've heard in a while.
Again. Thanks, to everyone too, who have given me some wisdom.


~ Gracias.
<3

Me siento triste...No te olvides de mi...Mi gustaria llegar te a conocer mejor. Nunca lo olvides te quiero más que ayer...
más.
más.
más...
y muy más.

porque...

I don't have any regrets.
About anything.
I don't think she's truly happy with me.
She can always be more happier.
I thought we were stronger.
Yet, we rarely talk. Even when we have a chance.
Even when we are together. Silence consumes the space between us.
I can tell she's miserable.
My conclusion that she's stressed doesn't add up anymore.
Because, she wouldn't be so distant.
She wouldn't have told me, that it would be better if we broke up.
Harsh, it ripped my heart to shreads. Pequeño, pequeño shreds.
I ignored it, as long as i could.
I soothed her pain...
I gave her a reason to still be in this relationship.
Am, i this selfish?
Its painful. Her first conclusion, was that we should separate.
Had she thought about it?
Even a little bit, what the true problem was?
I did. Much more than i ever thought before in a long time.
Maybe it is me then.
Its weird that her first post was about me...being a douche.
Not giving her enough, when she thought she had given me her heart and much more.
I never thought she did.
I apologized, but that never solves much.
I never thought she fully would give me her heart.
She is literally afraid.
Afraid of reality. That reaction, that possible rejection.
Shes afraid to let me in, mentally...physically. And so, pushes me so far away.
Our promises have faded to nothing. I know, she would cheat if she had the chance, and we were so far apart. I couldn't. I wouldn't. She thought i would.
I don't think i'd be able to live with myself if i did.
She pushes me away.
Truth is. I can't help people, who don't want to be helped. Be loved. Have someone to lean on, care for.
She complained, that i would tell the whole world about our problems before her.
I scream my sad sorry thoughts all over the fucking internet.
I wouldn't have to, if i could talk to her. I just wouldn't fucking have to.
She doesn't want to hear it. She ignores it immediately, when serious conversations arise.

Friends say, that sex holds together a relationship.
She knows i hate it. I hate having to go to that cold, depressing room to hide in the dark in the depths of the school, in order to do anything. (They even banned kissing in school...)
I despise it even.
It makes me sick to the point of vomiting.
Then being a girl, its difficult.
That's why there needs to be reciprocation.
Its strange, and pleasant, when you are able to hear your lover feel that tantalizing feeling.
I never felt anything before. But i do make sure she does. All the time, everyday.
I do bite. I know its a pleasurable feeling, yet she doesn't like it.
She's frightened of it.
This confuses me, because she says she does enjoy it.
Sex does not, hold anything together.
I hope she reads this.
Because i don't hide things.

So, she tried taking the easy way out.
Breaking up.
Will that really solve anything?
I doubt it. I think, things would be even worse.
Everyone i know is suicidal.
All of them, would be willing to pick up a razor blade, and think everything would be much better when they're bleeding, dying, disappearing.
We all live for eachother. Being together, no matter what barriers.
Its really painful, when separating means we aren't strong enough to handle those barriers.
I still love her.
Damned barriers, are pulling us apart.
Everything, isn't going right.




"It's not "I could die for you" but rather I've decided "I'll live for you""





English readers
Translation to crappy spanish at the top:


I'm feeling sad.
You do not forget. I would like to get to know you better.
You never forget, i want you more than yesterday...
more.
more.
more.
and much more.
because...

Work in progress...
In pencil, without editing, because my tablet hates me.
Yeah.
So a little about the picture:

Character;
Bell. His name is bell because, his mother forced a bell upon him, and told his it was a curse, and killed herself soon after.
So, Bell believes that this bell; that he wears around his neck, is his curse, and the people around him are cursed as well.

Tramatized. He believed in only death.
The bells on his left arm, are there, as a resemblance of the power he controls around his neck.
Which is, high pitched sound waves that the bell creates.
Oh, and in the WIP, he is killing the good guy, Teruo.
Whom i haven't finished...SSHHHH.
Well, yeah, he wears a jacket, black/leather, that keeps the bells from ringing when he walks.
Obviously he's not, wearing it here.

SO....He's actually supposed to be a good guy tooo...just awesomer, and...yeah...
They are part of a bigger better plot, that i don't feel like tying nao.
Oh...
he has like a nose piercing, and eyebrow piercing too.
Don't ask why his clothes are crappy...
BTW. i kinda like moved the sketch whilst it was scanning, and everything is off.
Because i moved it back too late...D:

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj263/aeiridesigns/WIIIPcuffspi.jpg

I. Tablet.

It was being a bitch and just when i was doing something very challenging.
A pixel id. For my deviantart of course. So, i go to use it and the pen won't work.
DD: So, i spent forever to make lineart,pixel art, and half of a id. Because, my arm, was cramping.
I have been working on it, and i'm finished the pixel part, and now have to do the..other part.
This is going to look like complete crap i have a feeling. So yeah, since 10:00pm last night-4:00am, last night. 7:00am-4:30pm. The time spent on doing this.
So, i gave you guys the Work in Progress, tell me what you think.

II. Language.

Holy, heck.
Learning Japanese here.
Do you KNOW what in hell they learn in first grade??
Kanji.
Insane. Just insane. I need HALP. Cause i phail.

III. Lack of Sunlight.

I feel nocturnal.
I haven't even been out of my damned house.
I might even seen a little pale.
IF that is possible.

IV. Hotness Level, lowering.

Why.
Why do people have to be so hot.
D:
D: