Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I. Music Deprived
II. Girlfriend Deprived
III. Contact with anyone of social life Deprived
IV. Art Deprived
V. Intellect Deprived.
I.
Music Deprived. Being that i was put on punishment for my crappy grades. I wasn't able to listen to music, and my mp3 was taken away. I went 3 months without music before this, and all my energy was drained, and i never wanted to go through that again, but here i am...again. Then, my principal taken it away from me at my lunch hour, and i had to wait until the next friday. Missing that day, i had to wait yet another week. Well, when i finally gotten my mp3 back, my two headphone pairs failed to work. Such, a waste of time, and effort. So yeah, withdraw syndromes kicking in. Shit. Another musical note. I also miss playing my violin. I fail, and fail again at having the time, and patience to play it. Then, when i do, i have to spend a very long amount of time tuning it, and when i actually play it, i dislike the way it sounds. Bleh.
II.
So, Yeah. I am a girl, with a girlfriend, suck it. Well, weeks and weeks pass, i spend only a hour with her barely each day, most of it spent going the fuck home. We attempt to talk to each other online. But because of our sleep habits, we rarely do, she's a insomniac, and when she finally gets to sleep, there isn't any waking her up. But most of the time its a hour, or less. Then my parents, won't take the time to meet hers because they say its not a priority. So we can't even go out. With situations like that, i'd cheat on myself! Whats a relationship, if you aren't close enough to have relations! Then when school is going to end, she's not even going to be in the same state, let alone the same city.
III.
Contact with others, even though i dislike people to a point, i'd like to get out of the house and be able to go somewhere. But, life hates me right now.
IV.
Shit, shit and more shit. I hate my art. I can't even scribble out a nice piece of literature. My brain is fried, and i can't complete anything even when i start it. Nothing. I have to admit, everything in my life was never finished. I never finish any artwork, writing, food, anything. I find that everything i do write or even draw isn't good enough. Because i can't draw what is in my mind on fucking paper. I have to re-learn my anatomy, everything in sentimental value in art. Shit.
V.
I might have to go to fucking summer school. Because world history is complete shit, and everything else is too. Then i won't have a fucking job to go back too. Well, money's out of the equation.
Quote of the hour:
"Don't ask me how my life is, because i'll just lie to you and say just fine. But its really turning to complete and utter shit."
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